SGGO 6: Music 1
Episode six of the Some Gender Going On podcast: The first music episode. You can play it or download it here:
My sixth episode! Recorded back at home
Notes
SGGO 6: Music 1
Izzy Grosof
Music review
Playlist: Them
Trans topics and gender topics, mostly but not only by trans artists
60 total, first dozen today.
Music is a major way I’ve explored the emotions of gender, of living in a world that is scared of trans people or isn’t ready for us, of growing up and exploring.
These songs have resonated with me, helped me understand myself and express myself and feel seen and feel community.
So I’ve listened to them enough to memorize them, most of them.
Nvr Pass She/her/hers A trans woman and a great name for a band.
Rejection of passing, of performing a confining image of womanhood to gain some acceptance from a fundamentaoly unaccepting society.
“I don’t want to spend the rest of the life I have trying to fit into a box that’s even smaller” “So I’ll probably never pass. Seems more like hiding than being who I am”
I hate hiding. I hate trying to pretend I’m something I’m not, or conceal something I am. I hate wearing masks for appearance or secrecy, or being asked to tone down what I’m wearing, or being told to be scared. I hate the kind of makeup that’s meant to hide or conceal or perform a face that’s not mine. I’m going to be who I am, or I’ll change who I am. I won’t hide.
“I’ll never pass, not that I would want to anyway.”
Gender is Boring Might seem like an odd title for someone making a gender podcast
Reject the confining binary, that boys are supposed to be this and girls are supposed to be that.
“Boys don’t talk that way, boys don’t dress that way, boys don’t act that way”.
“I say I’m a woman, what’s that supposed to tell you? Gender doesn’t tell you a damn thing about me.”
They/them/theirs Worriers Being non-binary, and thereby being made political against one’s will
“Fighting between a rock and why bother”
IDK If I’m a Boy Blue Foster
Of gender identity when labels aren’t the answer. Through
“I could say gender non-conforming, but I’ve done really well conforming”
“I don’t know if I’m a reject, I don’t know if I’m a loser, but I know that I’ve been feeling feminine since I was teething”
More egg memories than memories
“I remember pretty girls with pretty clothes, I was envious, how can I be one of those?”
I remember starting at girls my age in elementary, middle, high school. Thinking I was ogling them, that this was an expression of masculine unwanted lust. It was gender envy. I was starting at people wearing clothes I wanted to wear, which emphasized body features I wished I had. It took me a long time, and a lot of songs, to recontextualize that
“Lose a little weight and you can wear anything you want.”
Gender isn’t a reward for good behavior. I’ve fallen into that trap too, the brainworm of weight invalidating my gender or my expressions of gender.
“Now I know that I’m a reject, my own special kind of loser, but I know that I’ve been feeling feminine since I was breathing”
Full circle
The Nonbinary Song Marnanel
Simple, easy to sing
“You tell me I’m confused about the person I should be, the only one confused is you. I know that I am me.”
I know that I am me. Very powerful. That’s what matters
Sets nonbinary as default. “Another line for everyone else, a line for me and you.” “Another door to the outside world, a door for me and you.” “Another world for everyone else, a world for me and you”
How to dress as human Laura Les
Dressing for a party, second guessing appearance, second guessing attending at all, fear of rejection and worse. The dysphoria of performance. Of seeing all you insecurities and dysphoria when trying to look nice, being seen.
“Is this how every human feels?”
Animation of a crocodile wearing a skirt and lipstick and looking at herself in the mirror.
Village Wrabel
Not trans, unlike previous. Accomplice
“There’s nothing wrong with you” “There’s something wrong with the village.”
Religious rejection and family rejection.
“You can’t tell Grandma ‘cause her heart can’t take it. “
Have to hide to shield unaccepting elderly relatives.
Am I a Girl? Poppy
Exploring gender. Around this time, went from a very femme, cheery wholesome pop sound to songs where she’d sing both higher femmer parts and low growling masc parts, darker imagery, metal sound.
Settled on “cis woman, gender non-conforming in performance”
Nomimated for a Grammy for Best Metal Performance like in 2021. First solo female artist ever nominated, sense of how gendered the style was and is.
The lyrics hint towards this progression.
“Sometimes I’m feminine, sometimes I’m masculine” “Don’t evaluate me as woman or man” “I want to be a girl”
Some Gender Going On
Cloud 9 - alternate take with more pronouns. Beach Bunny
Positioning as listener, not singer
Romantic song. Thinks are better with her partner.
Shifts between second person for listener/partner:
“I’m confident when I’m with you”
And third person:
“But when he loves me, I feel like I’m floating”
Originally, all three verses used “he”, thinking of a straight relationship. Requests from fans, alternate version: “he”, “she”, “they”.
The song refers to me as “they”. “But when they love me, I feel like I’m floating”. Magical. Perfect. They for me.
SRS Chase Icon
Also known as bottom surgery
Opens with a Lady Gaga quote, when asked in an interview to respond to claims that she has a penis.
“Maybe I do Would it be so terrible? Why the hell am I going to waste my time and give a press release about whether or not I have a penis? My fans don’t care, and neither do I. Haha”
This song is about the other possible response to the question: Chase Icon reveling in her newfound vagina, in glorious and explicit imagery. Being trans, loud and fleshy and real.